I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
