please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
