Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
