the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
