Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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