Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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