ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize