i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
wow bdsm is so cute
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
