I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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