names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Still dying that you shit outside
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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