question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
