He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
