did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
