DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
