So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
