just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm sobbing to NWA
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
