making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
