I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
