well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I met the friendliest cop last night
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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