I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
