Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
