Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
