Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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