I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
