I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
