Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
