All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize