i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
babies were throwing up all over the place
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
