Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ugly people sure do ruin things
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
