week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she told me i tasted like america
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
