my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize