so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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