you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
