I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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