she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
