it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
