Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I look better un-naked...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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