God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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