once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
