Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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