Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
