three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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