it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
