You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Found your dick twin last night
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
