shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
