Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
