I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
