If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
