FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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