I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Randomize
