been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
