Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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