please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
