Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
