How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
