People in love make me want to vomit
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
