The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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