I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
