you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i now understand why vodka
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
