Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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